Two Views of the Family, Two Worldviews, Two Political Orientations

…We are here as on a darkling plain

Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,

Where ignorant armies clash by night.

— Matthew Arnold, Dover Beach, 1867

From “A Minority President,” by George Lakoff (but embellished by me, with apologies to George), November 22, 2016 https://georgelakoff.com/2016/11/22/a-minority-president-why-the-polls-failed-and-what-the-majority-can-do/

The Nation as Family: Two Worldviews

…The conservative and progressive political worldviews dividing our country can most readily be understood in terms of moral worldviews that are encapsulated in two very different idealizations of family life: The Nurturant Parent family (progressive) and the Strict Father family (conservative). …We are first governed in our families, so we grow up understanding governing institutions in terms of the governing systems of our families. Nurturant Parent and Strict Father family models pervade our culture.

Nurturant Families

…Nurturant Families are child-centered. In this ideal of the family, caring for a child involves knowing what the child needs and wants and being responsive to it. In turn, knowing what the child wants and needs calls for open, two-way conversation.

…For their own good, of course, children need clear limits and guidelines (Don’t put your hand on a hot stove. You’ll get burned.); personal responsibilities (“Brush your teeth”); and responsibilities to others (“Take care of your sister. Set the table.”) Children also need to empathize with others and act on that empathy. …And if some children require special attention, either because they are very young, or ill, or have other challenges, the rest of the family has to step up to help out.

Nurturance and Progressive Values. The values of the nurturant family translate into progressive political values. Citizens should care about other citizens and act (if necessary, through government) to provide resources and assistance for all who need it. This commitment to looking out for our neighbors and helping when needed (think of barn-raising) has been a prominent value since our days as a colony. From the 1770s to the 1970s, Americans supported using public resources to purchase territory; build roads and bridges, dams, schools and universities; establish a monetary and banking system; maintain courts and the criminal justice system; penitentiaries; a patent office; a national library; a center for disease control; national parks; a federal investigative bureau; a coast guard; an immigration and customs service; a space exploration program; departments to support commerce, agriculture, international trade, and energy production; and dozens of other programs, policies, and agencies, including police, fire departments, and the military.

Modern life now depends on public resources for science and medical research, satellite communications, disaster relief, and homeland security. These public resources afford us security, convenience, and freedom. They make our way of life possible. And they all stem from the basic progressive values of mutual respect, empathy, caring, collaboration, and reciprocity. They are the institutional expression of the Golden Rule and of the commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves.

Strict Father Families

Strict Father families are parent-centered. Specifically, they are father-centered—in effect, “father knows best.” In this ideal of the family, life does not revolve around the children and their wants—it focuses on the father’s moral authority and the order that his authority makes possible. He knows right from wrong and has the right to ensure that his children and his spouse defer to his judgment, accept his decisions, and follow his instructions. He delegates some of his authority to his spouse in certain areas of family life, and she exercises that authority with his support and guidance.

When children disobey or otherwise fail to live up to expectations, it is the strict father’s moral duty to punish them—to impose a penalty painful enough so that, in order to avoid further punishment, they will obey his demand that they do what is right, not what they think they should be free to do. If necessary, especially when young, physical punishment may be required to ensure that children acquire self-discipline, hold correct beliefs, and exhibit proper attitudes and behaviors, all with a view to becoming adults who will be mature, responsible, independent, and self-sufficient like their parents. If children succeed, they will be prosperous and happy, and they will have earned both conditions. If they fail to acquire the values, attitudes, and dispositions their parents preach, they may turn out to be weak, needy, lazy, self-indulgent, dependent, unskilled, unemployable, immoral, or worse. They will then deserve the sort of life they’ve fallen into—their failures will be nobody’s fault but their own.

The Strict Father and Conservative Values. Like the nurturant family worldview, the strict father worldview extends beyond the family to the social, economic, and political worlds outside. The basic idea is that possessing the moral beliefs, values, and habits of the strict father justify the authority to determine what others ought to do and to require it from them. Along with that authority goes the right to use his power, resources, and freedom in the manner he deems best. The resulting hierarchy,* in which the few govern the many, is essential to achieving and maintaining order in the social, economic, and political realms, just as it’s indispensable to a well-ordered family. Through the order made possible by the proper exercise of moral authority, everyone has the opportunity to thrive and prosper. Values that support the hierarchical distribution of power and authority include obedience, deference to authority, accountability, loyalty, duty, self-discipline, strength of character, courage, determination, responsibility for self, independence, and freedom for those who exhibit these virtues.

* (The ideal hierarchy, roughly, goes something like this: God above Mankind; Mankind above Nature (animals and the earth); men above women; adults above children; the family above friends; friends above strangers; the individual above the community; the community above the state; the righteous above the immoral; Western culture above non-western cultures; America above other countries; the economic above the political; the competitive above the cooperative; the strong and determined above the weak and irresolute; the prosperous above the dependent; employers above employees, and so forth.)

Conservative policy proposals flow from the strict father worldview and belief in the traditional, “natural” hierarchy of humankind. Support for “law and order;” Second Amendment protection; elimination of welfare; restriction of “abortion on demand;” support for private, religious, and charter schools; low taxes; business de-regulation; no restrictions on the use of government-owned land or natural resources; a strong military, and other policy positions reflect the strict father worldview.

Nobody Conforms to the Ideal Type

The two worldviews are idealizations and as such are only approximated by the vast majority of people. Both conservatives and progressives hold a strict father worldview on some issues and a nurturant worldview on others. The ideal types represent tendencies, not detailed descriptions to which all or even most will conform.

For example, conservatives have nurturing attitudes toward people who are closest to them: family, friends, voluntary groups to which they belong (religious groups, political groups, business associations, etc.); members of the same socioeconomic class; Western or Anglo-American ethnic groups; fellow conservatives; Americans. Strangers, liberals and progressives, foreigners, and members of other “out-groups” are more likely to be regarded in transactional terms.

In contrast, liberals and progressives are more likely to take an inclusive view of human diversity, professing care and concern for those they perceive as different from themselves. At the same time, however, even they sometimes base their beliefs, feelings, and actions on conservative perceptions and values. A commitment to neighborhood schools and a desire to live in safe residential areas, for example, may take precedence over social values such as racial and socioeconomic integration.

Identity

For both conservatives and liberal/progressives, the maintenance of personal identity has become a goal of increasing importance. Conservatives may subscribe to, e.g., a religious version, a business version, an elite version, or a working class/traditional values version of the strict father worldview. Liberal/progressives may subscribe to, e.g., a religious version, secular-humanist version, “New Deal” version, radical/populist/anti-capitalist version, social democratic version, or identitarian version of the nurturing family worldview.